Me: Welcome to another edition of Yaoi Talk with your host, Christie Gordon. Today we have with us L and Light–
Light: I said leave it alone!
L: But there is a 99.963 percent chance of you having candy in there.
Me: (leans over the table) In where?
Light: Get your hand out of there!
L: But something’s in there, I feel it!
Light: No there isn’t…OW!
L: I got it (smiles big)
Me: You’ve got what?
Light: That’s not candy! (falls backward in the chair)
L: Ah! (falls backward in the chair with his hand in Light’s front pocket)
Me: Uh, what, what are you two doing down there?
Light: (gasps) Get it out!
L: Hmmm, cylindrical, hard, a bit of a lip toward the top…
Light: THAT’S NOT CANDY, YOU IDIOT!
L: (eyes widen) Oh…oops, sorry.
Me: Uh, what is it?
(L and Light both sit up)
L: (flushes and looks around)
Light: (glares at L) It was nothing.
L: Oh, I’d say it was something.
Me: What the hell was it?
L: Light here seems very happy to be here today.
Light: Shut up.
Me: …Okay, well, moving on. I’d like to ask you both some questions.
Light: Please do.
Me: Okay, well, when was the first time you two got together? Was it when you were handcuffed?
Light: Yes. (glares at L)
Me: Um, well when was it?
L: (sits back in seat) Okay, okay, Light? Honey, sweetie, Light of my life?
Light: (slaps L in the shoulder)
L: Ow. I have something to tell you.
Light: What, here on the radio?
L: Good a place as ever, I think.(pulls small candy out of his pocket and pops it into his mouth)
L: Well, it seems I found the seized narcotics room at the station late one night while we were working the Kira case and I just couldn’t help myself. I put just a tad bit of rohypnol in your tea.
Light: Rohypnol? What’s that?
L: (shrugs) On the street it’s called roofies or the date rape drug. So, as I was saying–
Light: You date raped me?!
L: The chances of us hooking up were only 24.56 percent at the time and I found your criminal mind so undeniably attractive, I just–
Light: You raped me?
L: Rape is a strong word… You seemed to really enjoy our little tryst, though you didn’t remember it. (puts finger to lips) I do remember you having some problems sitting the next day…
Light: (look of horror on face) You bastard! And you told me I must have pulled something playing tennis!
L: Well, you never were that good at tennis…
L: Oh, was that out loud?
Me: Oh my. Um, I think our time is up, guys.
Light: Oh yeah? Come on, Ryuuzaki, I’ll take you on anytime. An-y-time.
Me: And so you heard it here, on Yaoi Talk. L and Light, um, hooked up before their infamous handcuffing.
L: (stands up) You think so? How about now? Huh?
Light: (stands up) Okay, okay, let’s do it.
Me: Um, come on guys, settle down. And this concludes another edition of Yaoi Talk.